Bruised not Broken
by saygoodnightgracie
Summary: Set in the realm of 3.22 - The Dream Team. Kalinda gets hurts trying to protect Alicia. Will Alicia be there to help her pick up the pieces?


"He said my name." Kalinda freezes. She does her best to make her face devoid of any and all emotion, but Alicia sees the fear before Kalinda's mask can slide fully into place. She reaches for Kalinda's wrist, choosing to momentarily ignore the way Kalinda's body tenses at the contact. Kalinda turns to face her, "I'll fix this Alicia. I promise." She isn't exactly sure why but Alicia believes her. She nods wordlessly as Kalinda extricates herself and walks purposefully out of Alicia's office. "Be careful," Alicia whispers to no one. "Please."

Alicia doesn't see Kalinda for the rest of the day. She finds herself checking her phone every few minutes to ensure she hasn't missed a message, but no message comes. Around 9pm Alicia drags her tired, anxious body home, craving bare feet and a glass of her favorite red. She settles onto the couch with a case file but her heart isn't in it and neither is her mind. She sips and stares at nothing, her thoughts swirling with the tumultuous details of her recent relationship with the firm's investigator.

Kalinda is an enigma—on that front no one could disagree—but Alicia has managed to get to know her better than most. There is a level of trust that perhaps no one other than Will has been able to reach before—a fact that both pleases and saddens her. "You slept with my husband." She hadn't thought they could ever come back from that moment, but time had indeed begun to heal old wounds and they were slowly forging something new. It felt different now, but not in any way that Alicia had expected; she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Alicia takes a long sip, laying her head back and swallowing with a sigh, her body sinking into the back of the sofa. Eyes closed and deep in thought, she almost misses the quiet sounds emanating from the hallway outside her door. A quick glance at her watch tells her it is almost midnight and suddenly she isn't sure if the noise is friend or foe. Erring on the side of caution Alicia grabs the closest "weapon" she can find—one of Grace's soccer cleats—and makes her way to the peephole. She barely catches sight of her midnight visitor before she casts aside her absurd "weapon" and throws open the door. "Kalinda," Alicia breathes.

Kalinda looks as though she is trying to fold into herself, and as Alicia reaches out for her the usually stoic investigator crumples to the ground with a whimper. Alicia immediately swoops down to gather her in her arms and, bearing her minuscule weight, bundles the smaller woman into the safety of her apartment. Alicia leads Kalinda to the sofa, only putting enough space between them to more fully assess Kalinda's condition. First sight had revealed obvious cuts and bruises on Kalinda's face, but now that Alicia can take it all in her appearance tells a violent story. Kalinda's normally perfect coif has been pulled free in places and her left temple is matted with blood. Her silk blouse is torn at the neck revealing a blossoming bruise on her collarbone. Her wrists are caked with a circle of dried blood as though she has fought her way out of some sort of ligatures and one heel of her knee high boots is completely broken off.

Kalinda sits quietly, unmoving, as Alicia inventories her body from top to bottom. When Alicia comes to her wrists she lets out a small gasp, bringing one hand to cover her mouth as the other hovers over the cuts on Kalinda's skin. Exhausted, Kalinda leans forward, bringing her forehead to Alicia's shoulder. Instinctively, Alicia brings her arms up to embrace her but Kalinda lets out an agonizing yelp of pain. Alicia jumps back as though she's been burned, looking at Kalinda questioningly. Slowly Kalinda turns her back to Alicia and ever so carefully shrugs off her leather jacket. Taking a deep breath to steady herself she whispers, "Go ahead." As delicately as she can Alicia slowly lifts the back of Kalinda's blouse until she reveals a frightening pattern of lash marks across the otherwise unblemished skin. Kalinda chokes back a sob, folding into herself once again. Silent tears streaming down her cheeks, Alicia places her hands on Kalinda's shoulders and leans forward to place a kiss on a small patch of uninjured skin. "Oh, Kalinda. I'm so sorry," she whispers against her skin.

The two women stay like that for a few moments until their tears subside. Alicia carefully rolls Kalinda's blouse back down and encourages her to turn back to face her. Kalinda obliges, her hands fisted in her lap and her eyes red with tears. Alicia gently takes Kalinda's hands into her own and gives Kalinda's body another once over. "Are there any other injuries I can't see?" she asks quietly. Kalinda shakes her head. "Okay," she breathes out slowly. She lets go of Kalinda's hands and kneels down before her. Kalinda looks as though she is about to protest before she realizes that Alicia is just trying to remove her boots. She closes her eyes and sighs, relaxing for a moment until she hears Alicia stand. "Come with me?" she asks, reaching for Kalinda's hands again. Kalinda hesitates, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth before seemingly surrendering to Alicia's request.

Alicia gently leads her through the doorway of the master bedroom and into the large bathroom, guiding her to take a seat on the edge of the tub. "Kalinda," Alicia starts, her voice catching. She clears her throat and tries again, "Kalinda, we need to photograph your injuries." Kalinda shoots her a look but before she can protest Alicia continues, "If we ever need to prove you did anything in self-defense, we need evidence of what he did to you." Alicia couldn't remember the last time she had seen her friend look so defeated. She reaches out and strokes Kalinda's unbruised cheek with her thumb. "I'll be right back," she says gently, heading to the living room to retrieve her phone before returning to Kalinda's side. "I'll try to be as thorough and quick as I can, okay? Why don't you stand over here," she coaxes. Kalinda stands robotically as Alicia reaches for her phone and turns the volume off. The last thing she wants is the invasive computerized camera click adding to what she is certain will be an agonizing experience for them both.

Turning back to Kalinda she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and raises the camera/phone. "I'm going to start with a couple full body shots and then focus on each injury, okay?" she explains. "You don't have to walk me through each step," Kalinda bites out, scowling before remembering Alicia is trying to take care of her. "Let's just get this over with." She isn't one for allowing herself to be taken care of but things have always been different when it comes to Alicia. For her part, Alicia tries to adopt a detached professional air. She takes photos of Kalinda's general appearance, including her torn clothes and tangled hair. She takes close ups of Kalinda's bruised face, the cut on her lip and the gash at her temple before slowly removing her ruined blouse to photograph the damage hidden underneath. The light in the bathroom reveals even more bruises than Alicia had initially seen. They stand out like stark purple and red paintings on darkened canvas: handprints at her neck, a striation of colors blooming across her ribs. The ligature marks encircling her wrists are clear as day now and Alicia falters slightly as she gently turns Kalinda's hands over in her own to capture them close up. She pauses, eyes cast downward as she lifts Kalinda's hands to her lips, "I'm so sorry," she whispers again. She feels rather than sees Kalinda's tears as they stand with their foreheads pressed together, shaky breaths mingling in the space between them. Eventually Kalinda pulls back, squeezing Alicia's hands. "Almost done," she whispers, and Alicia nods, clearing her throat and adjusting the camera. Kalinda turns her back toward Alicia and places her hands on the wall in front of her for support. She holds her breath and tries to ignore the swish and crack of a whip echoing in her head.

"Hey." The sound of Alicia's voice and the touch of her hand on her shoulder pull Kalinda from her reverie. Alicia has set the camera down and is guiding Kalinda back to the edge of the tub. She leans past her to turn on the water and flip the stopper. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay?" Kalinda nods mutely, torn between needing this and wanting more than anything to run. While the tub fills Alicia kneels in front of Kalinda again, her eyes seeking permission before skin meets skin. Gently she removes Kalinda's shredded stockings, guiding them down over her knees before slipping each one off. Her skirt follows, leaving her in nothing but bra and panties. There is nothing sexual in Alicia's ministrations but Kalinda can't help her mind's lament that this is not how she imagined being undressed by Alicia for the the first time. Once again Alicia's voice breaks through her thoughts, "Are you okay to get the rest?" She nods again and Alicia reaches up and kisses her forehead before standing. While Kalinda removes the final layer of clothing from her body Alicia busies herself getting towels and dimming the lights. She tests the temperature of the water one last time and turns off the tap before encouraging Kalinda to get in. She turns away under the pretense of hanging her wrap sweater on the back of the door but she is really just trying to get her breathing under control. This is Kalinda, her **friend—** her friend who is **hurt** , she admonishes herself. With another deep breath she turns back to the bath, setting a towel on the floor to kneel on and reaching for the small washcloth. "This might—" "You don't—" both women start to speak at once. Kalinda's eyes display her turmoil, but Alicia's broken "Please" is enough to silence any objection she may have been about to voice. Alicia submerges the washcloth and sets to work gently cleansing Kalinda's skin of the evidence of her trauma. The air between them crackles as Alicia lovingly tends to each wound. They cry together as Alicia tends to the lashings on Kalinda's back, once again bringing her lips to the broken skin in a reverent kiss.

"Would you wash my hair?" Kalinda asks when everything else has been taken care of. Alicia just smiles at her in the way that only Alicia can as she reaches for the shampoo. No judgment. No sarcasm. For the first time in recent memory, Kalinda asks for something she wants and doesn't feel guilty about it. Things really are different with Alicia. Maybe that is why she reaches out to grab Alicia's wrist. Maybe that is why Alicia knows, despite the myriad other things Kalinda's eyes could be conveying, exactly what Kalinda is asking. Why the answer feels superfluous but she asks the question anyway, "Are you sure?" Kalinda only nods. Alicia gently strokes Kalinda's cheek with the back of her hand before standing to rid herself of her clothes and slipping into the tub behind Kalinda. She carefully untangles Kalinda's hair from its destroyed up-do before reaching for the shampoo once more, slowly and carefully massaging Kalinda's scalp and rinsing the blood and other remnants of what had transpired from her hair. Satisfied that everything has been tended to, she wraps her arms around Kalinda, bringing her to rest against her chest. They stay like that, in comfortable silence, until the water cools. Alicia reaches past Kalinda to release the stopper and helps Kalinda to stand. She takes another moment to rinse their bodies free of soap with the spray nozzle before wrapping Kalinda in a fluffy blue towel.

Kalinda stares at the floor while Alicia guides her out of the tub, looking lost and unbelievably small to Alicia as she reaches for another towel to wrap around herself. She finds a smaller towel to wrap Kalinda's hair up in, then sets about helping her to pat her skin dry. She takes a first aid kit out from a cupboard under the sink and gives Kalinda's wounds another once over now that she is cleaned up and Alicia can see which ones need additional attention. Kalinda remains quiet, staring at nothing in particular until Alicia pats her knee, telling her she'll be right back. She returns moments later with one of her own long sleeve shirts and a pair of yoga pants she borrowed from Grace (in hopes they would be a better fit). She tries to bite back a smile when Kalinda inhales deeply as she helps slip the shirt over her head. "It smells like you," she replies as though it is obvious. Alicia just grins openly in response before slipping into the clothes she had been wearing before and hanging the towels on the back of the door. She reaches for the towel wrapped around Kalinda's hair, slowly undoing it and letting her hair fall free. She gently pats the ends dry and reaches for the blow dryer before thinking better of it. Instead she picks up a brush and leads Kalinda by the hand into the bedroom, taking a seat on the bed and gently pulling Kalinda to sit in front of her. Then, ever so carefully, she brushes out Kalinda's hair, avoiding the injuries she has already committed to memory and trying to infuse her touch with as much love and tenderness as she can. When she is done she twists Kalinda's hair up into a somewhat looser version of her usual up-do before placing her hands on Kalinda's shoulders and whispering into her ear, "Better?" All Kalinda can muster is a nod punctuated by a small sob. Alicia immediately opens her arms and draws her friend into a calming embrace. She holds her, whispering nonsense into her hair as Kalinda desperately presses her cheek into Alicia's breast, wishing they could melt away and forget everything that had happened.

Kalinda isn't sure how long they stay like that. She's not even sure how long it has been since Alicia found her in the hallway, but for the first time since that moment—no—since the moment Alicia first mentioned Leela's husband—Kalinda feels like she can breathe. Sensing the shift in the body in her arms, Alicia pulls back slightly. "Tea? Tequila? Or both?" she offers. That actually elicits an eye-roll from Kalinda and Alicia answers her own question, "Both it is then." She rises from the bed and pads toward the kitchen, Kalinda hesitating for just a moment before trailing after her. She gingerly sits herself in one of the stools at the breakfast counter and watches as Alicia sets about boiling water for tea and setting out two shot glasses of tequila on a tray. She smiles at the spread, not at all surprised that Alicia wouldn't forgo the usual formalities despite their current situation. "Living room or bedroom?" Alicia asks as she finishes setting the tray. Kalinda doesn't even need to think about it, "Bedroom, please." She needs the cozy warmth and security Alicia's bedroom gives her; she pushes other thoughts about Alicia's bedroom from her mind for now. In due time, she tells herself. In due time.

Alicia settles with her back against the headboard, legs outstretched, the tray near her feet. Kalinda climbs onto the bed slowly, somewhat unsure what position to take, not only for her physical comfort but her mental as well. Alicia is watching her, trying to read the expression on her face. She adjusts a pillow next to her and extends her right arm, her smile and gesture clearly encouraging Kalinda to curl up next to her. Kalinda sighs contentedly as she settles into Alicia's side, Alicia gingerly placing her arm around Kalinda so as to make sure she doesn't cause her more pain. Whether from nerves or restlessness, Kalinda shifts, sliding forward to pull the tray closer to them. She reaches for the tequila, handing Alicia a glass before taking one for herself. "What shall we drink to?" she asks seriously. Alicia stares into the glass, the weight of the day finally catching up to her. "To friendship," she answers shakily, "and taking care of each other," she adds, finally raising her glass and meeting Kalinda's eyes. Kalinda's gaze is penetrating, like she's trying to read the truth written on Alicia's soul. "To love," Kalinda says with finality, tossing back her shot. Alicia's glass stops halfway to her lips. "You went there to protect me," Alicia says. There's not even a hint of a question in her voice. Kalinda nods, not trusting her voice in the moment. Tears spring to Alicia's eyes and she turns her head hurrying to brush them away before Kalinda can see them. Kalinda takes Alicia's chin between her thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at her. "Don't," Kalinda says firmly. "I'd do it again. I'd endure all of it ten times over if it meant keeping you safe. Do you understand? My only regret is that I didn't actually kill him". Alicia lets out a bitter laugh and Kalinda leans in to kiss away the stray tears on Alicia's cheeks. Pulling back she strokes the place where her lips just were and stares into Alicia's eyes. She sees longing, fear, and yes, love mirrored there. "I'm safe now," Kalinda assures her, "We both are". Alicia just nods and leans in, capturing Kalinda's lips in a cautious kiss laced with tenderness and all the passion she has been holding back for so long. She slides her lips up to Kalinda's forehead and whispers against the skin there, "I love you, too." Kalinda smiles against the closest bit of skin she can reach, "I know."


End file.
